My Last Videos...

I started my life as a travel vlogger about seven years ago. Back then I was full of excitement as there were loads of countries I wanted to visit and film in; Tajikistan, Venezuela, Cuba, Belarus...However now, many years later I have ticked pretty much all the places I wanted to see off the list and there are now very few countries left I have any genuine desire to go to. You really think I wanted to go to Tanzania?!

CAMEROON. NOT A FUCKING CHANCE

I don’t know how much longer I have doing this. The idea of travelling the world and getting jet lag in places I am only visiting in order to get views in doesn’t fill me with excitement. So I think this will probably be my last year in this niche. I am now already thinking seriously about what comes next and how to transition ( niche, not sexuality ). However, before I leave the travel life which started with my first trip to Russia in the early 90s, there are a few videos/places left that interest me. 

In no particular order these are them...

Latvia

LATVIA. PROBABLY BETTER THAN CAMEROON

I have visited Latvia numerous times on holiday and like the little Baltic nation a lot. In fact I very almost ended up moving there. However I have never filmed in the place. That is because I honestly cannot think of a story to tell or interesting journey to make in the country. Latvia is charming but not exciting. However I can’t hang up the boots without showing a bit of beautiful Latvia since it was a Soviet state once upon a time.

JURMALA IN ITS SOVIET HEYDAY

I suppose I will show Jurmala and talk about the Soviet celebrities who had summer houses there and then head down to Daugavpils to meet some Russian speakers. I will have a special guest star for this trip. All will be revealed in the video. Anyway Latvia will be visited this summer.

North Korea

PEAK CONTENT

I was planning on going to North Korea a few years back and was about to book my tour when suddenly covid happened and the borders closed. North Korea would be the culmination of the Soviet travels, not because it was a Soviet state, it wasn’t, but because it is the closest we in the 2000s can get to witnessing what life must have been like in the USSR before Kruschev. 

Of course I would be limited in what I could show but I want to see it and meet the locals and have a beer or two with them if possible. Probably a sound bunch of lads. I heard the country is opening up again so maybe this year I will get my chance.

Turkmenistan

TURKMENISTAN LOOKS FUCKING MENTAL

Visiting Turkmenistan would complete visiting all 15 republics of the former USSR. A dream I have had since I was 16 years old and first started learning Russian in Anna's class. A country that seems a bit nuts from a distance but close up is probably quite normal with people just going about their lives trying to pay the bills. The post-Soviet rulers do seem a bit bonkers though so that will be interesting to talk about. Apparently the government don’t like YouTubers too much so it might be tricky getting in, but I’l give it a shot and see what happens.

China

BETTER THAN BIRMINGHAM

I started having Mandarin lessons recently. The reason is because I find China fascinating. The history, both ancient and modern. The diverse cultures, peoples, food and geography. I  was there last year and already filmed, however Imagine what stories I could listen to if I spoke decent Mandarin and returned! Stories of the Great Leap Forward, the Long March, the Cultural Revolution. I feel these stories haven't been heard too often unlike the ones from the USSR and I'd love to bring some to life. I could just go to a noodle shop and get chatting to some old codger and hear something incredible. He might even take me under his wing and teach me some secret Kung Fu death touch technique.

THAT WILL BE $250K PLEASE

However of course I will have quit YouTube long before I reach the level of language proficiency needed to discuss those topics. However maybe I can still scratch the surface slightly with a few lucky meetings and the YouTube gods being kind to me. 

Australia

BOWIE. JUST LET HIM DANCE

I like Australians. They are mad cunts. I want to go there and head to some little towns in the outback and go to a pub like the one in David bowie’s ‘Let’s Dance' video and meet the locals. Have some beers, share some laughs, wrestle a kangaroo, drink a Fosters. Video the whole thing. I also want to meet some aboriginal people. To hear their ancient language. Chill with them and learn a bit about their lives. Yes, Australia this year sometime. But I am fucking dreading that flight!

USA

Finally the big daddy. The USA. I have been to visit friends a few times but never filmed there. Actually that's not true! I just remembered the video I filmed with Harold and Coppercab where we made a spoof video of us being attacked in Atlanta for wearing a MAGA hat. I never released the video unfortunately but good times.

IMAGINE KEIR STARMER DOING SOMETHING THIS HEROIC

Anyway you sit at the bar in any Hooters and the guy at the bar next to you is bound to ask where you’re from and then invite you to a BBQ. That's the USA. I’m not interested in the major cities, instead I want to go to the smaller towns in North Dakota, Texas, Wyoming, Idaho. What the fuck goes on in Boise? I want to see how life is out there, far from the parts we see on the news. Maybe I’ll marry a local Republican god-fearing girl, carry a gun, get a green card and never leave. Yeah, the perfect ending to it all...

I CAN ONLY DO THESE TRIPS IF YOU BUY MY FUCKING BOOK. GET YOUR CREDIT CARDS OUT AND STOP BEING TIGHT BUGGERS